Skrive

Jeg sitter her og skriver, klokka er over tolv og jeg tenker, dæven nå skriver jeg bra. Det er sånn det burde vært hver dag. Jeg skriver inn kapittel en og to på pc. Det er fantastisk, det er berusende. Jeg burde stoppe snart, det er for gøy, det er for raskt, for lett. Jeg kan ikke bare kjøre racerbil, da glemmer jeg hvordan det er når jeg må kjøre trillebår igjen i kapittel tre.

Dune

I’m ill, and I don’t want to eat anything. Yesterday I ate a whole chilli pepper because I thought it would help but I didn’t notice anything. Every time I cough it’s… uh, it’s really gross.

Anne and I watched Dune yesterday. It would have been completely impossible to understand anything they said, or to deduce from their actions what was going on if I hadn’t read the books when I was fourteen. Every quarter of an hour we had to press pause so I could explain to Anne what happened and why. I sorta liked it anyway. Half the crew of Twin Peaks was in there (plus Sting!), and when the floating assassin needle tried to kill Paul Atreides / Special Agent Dale Cooper we could say stuff like: Look, it’s Windom Earle in disguise.

Earrings

My mother gave me these earrings on Saturday. They remind me of aubergines.




When I was small I used to look through my mother’s jewellery, they were shiny and I coveted them with the greed of a child. These earrings made on my impressionable mind an imprint as if this was the very idea of earrings, you know, in the Platon sense of the word.
I saw them again when I was helping her dressing up for a party, and she gave them to me. She said she didn’t like them anymore.

Æsj

Hvorfor er jeg bare sammen med idioter som ikke vet hvordan man har en kjæreste? Det er ikke som om jeg ber om mye, alt jeg vil ha er å få høre at du faktisk har lyst til å være kjæresten min, at det hender du setter pris på at jeg er der. Faen.

Wow

Yesterday I won the student price for our semester task at school. I was surprised and my hands shook. I didn’t even know this price existed.

A lot of people came up to me afterwards and told me how much they liked it, that their hearts hurt a little. There was even one woman who cried. I think I liked that the most, to see that people liked something I made.

Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you

The Giant Killer Spiders

Today was another day too hot to wake up early. I tried to read The Great Gatsby in bed but instead I just kept falling asleep again having nightmares about the giant killer spiders From The Dawn Of Time. I didn’t like them very much, they killed me in the bath tub.

But look at my dinner! Trout with salad and sprouts. So tasty! Afterwards I ate half a Pakistani mango and it was glorious.

Night

I like walking around in Oslo during the night. The smell of flowers is almost sticky, it’s so much more prominent than during the day. I remember we took a stroll in Slottsparken after midnight and we sat down in the grass, I bent backwards, put my head down. It was so soft, I almost fell asleep, I felt warm.
And I remember the bench where we watched the green light in the window opposite, and the sound the leaves made outside my window yesterday, just as I was thinking about that time you know, when the sun came bursting out of the glass ceiling at the station and I remember everything, everything. This is a happy feeling.

green and purple

There’s always this feeling of not being good enough. Not as or for the others. I can’t do anything right, it always turns out awkward or just downright embarrassing. Even if it’s just trying to say a sentence I stumble over the words and hurt my knee before I reach the other end.