Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It's raining and

I wanna know why there’s so much

Is this growing up and learning how to be realistic?
I’ve got so much time on my hands, I should use it to make something amazing.

Monday, August 25, 2008


Åshild came on a surprise visit today, she brought some sveler with her and we ate them with butter and sugar on top. It made me happy, people should come on surprise visits more often. Especially if they bring tasty food!

Anne and I took a walk in Frognerparken afterwards, and I looked at the trees. They’ll go all yellow and orange soon. I really love trees. I love the colours, the size, the shape. They’re beautiful. If I ever become a super hero I want to be the Tree Woman. I’d fight super villains and global warming by occasionally turning myself into a tree and stand very still; breathing, drinking water with my toes.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Movies and notes

I went to Cinemateket with Ihra Lill today, we saw Dead Poets Societey. I haven't seen it in years.
I thought: Don't do it don't do it, but he did. And afterwards when they were standing by the winter lake I thought he was going to scream, but all he said was: it's beautiful. And it was.

On my way home I wrote a note to someone and put it in what I hope was the right window. I felt brave then, I did.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The library (:

When I went to the library yesterday I got a bit worried when I had to walk on a red carpet to get in. But then I heard music and walked upstairs where Now We’ve Got Members were having a concert! It was wonderful and very unexpected and that is one of the best combinations of things, if you ask me. Deichman is 75 years old, that’s what they were celebrating. I knew that, but not that which day it was.
They even had a bar where you could buy drinks called Jorge Luis Borges and Samuel Beckett.

Then I borrowed Bande À Part, which I’ve wanted to watch for a while, so I did, when I got home. I liked the dance they did in the café.

These pictures of me

I found some old photo albums when I was home. Look, I used to be really cute once.

And now I see why I feel so at home with this haircut. I must have had it like this for most of my life, no wonder why I always come back to it after cutting it differently.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Still green

I’m visiting my family, and when I woke up there was fog in the garden, it hung from the trees like apples. After a while the sun broke through and we ate breakfast outside. The chickens has grown bigger, they came when we called.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


I was attacked by the army of dead customers! It hasn’t been this crowded at work since Christmas I heard, everyone was asking for something, wanting something from me all the time. But I’m not letting it ruin my mood, they’ll have to try harder next time.

Friday, August 15, 2008


I was happy today even before I woke up. I had this really good feeling during the last minutes of my sleep and when my eyes opened, when they did, I knew this day would be great. After breakfast I curled up in the open kitchen window to absorb some D-vitamins and read Hässelby (it’s good, you should read it too).

Despite my bed recently turning in to a parody of a bed, and despite that the dust in my windowsill is creeping in like someone else’s depression, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m really happy with my life. I live with my best friends, and when I turn the lights on in the kitchen after having watched There Will Be Blood with them in the living room I see the brownies that we made (with extra pieces of chocolate inside) and I see the leftovers from dinner that we made together and I see the bottle of wine and I can’t think of anything that could have made me happier right then than this kitchen – messy, but it can stay like that, at least until tomorrow. Just this relaxed and immense feeling of my life being here with me.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Why I'm not donating blood

I had an appointment to donate blood this morning, and I asked them if I could be weighted first because I knew I’d lost some weight (not on purpose). It turned out I’m 48 kilos (their limit is 50) and the nurse became really rude and told me loads of times to eat more meat. I expected them to tell me to come back when I had put the kilos back on (because I most probably will), but she just kept on asking why, and she didn’t believe me when I said I’m not one of those girls who goes on diets and stuff. And then she banned me for five years. Banned! Five years! I want to caps lock that. It’s almost like Blodbanken is some sick forum on the internet or something. I don’t know. It was just too weird.
Then they gave me 50kr for showing up and I donated them to help treat cancer, helped myself to some of their free biscuits and apple juice and walked out the door. Goodbye Blodbanken, see you when I’m 26 then! :/

When I got out from the hospital the sky was like a watercolour painting, grey all over with hairy brushstrokes. Then the rain started. The heavens opened, you know, it was that kind of rain. Small rivers down my face, my glasses full of water, it was the best thing ever.


I have troubles falling asleep lately, and in the mornings I wake up with a start.

Caroline came over with a box full of chocolate. Look! It’s 1,5 kilos of chocolate! :D :D I can’t get over it.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Yesterday was the first day of autumn, I could smell it. It was those autumn-ish smells, like the smell of the cold, that smoky feeling in the air, of leaves curling up, giving away their chlorophyll.

I’m restless and tired, maybe I’m giving away my chlorophyll too. Anyway, Anne and I took a long walk today before making a salad for dinner, I liked that. And Badly Drawn Boy has like two songs that are really incredibly good, I’d forgotten.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Tuesday, August 05, 2008


Down to the right, in a corner, I found this when I was wiping the dust off the bookshelves at work. It made me happy to find it, that kind of happy you get when you find something strange, something to ponder for a while. Why do insects have such strange legs, is something to wonder about. What is this one called in Latin, does it fly during the day or the night? And why did it choose to die down to the right, in a corner, at my job? That’s something to wonder about too.
When I was in Tanzania my dad and I would catch butterflies and put them in jam jars. I remember the very first one we found at the embassy, it was sitting on a red column, the first day we were there. It was huge, it was a moth not a butterfly. And later, I would run around outside our house with a net to catch them, but they were too fast for me, I was five years old and would chase them as if they gave me the answer to something I hadn’t asked about yet, not at that time.
I’ve still got an old cigar box where dad used to store scalpels, cotton wads and needles, it smells of tymol poison. Every time I open it the smell rises up, making me dizzy and I’m in Africa I’m gone I’m…

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Oppfinnelsen av Frøydis

Jeg trenger ikke folk til å fortelle meg hvordan han er og hvordan han har behandlet meg, jeg vet det selv og visste det hele tiden. Det er bare det at det er ingen sammenheng mellom å vite og det å slå opp med ham, det tok lang tid før jeg klarte det. På grunn av redselen for at det egentlig var meg det var noe galt med, at jeg ikke prøvde hardt nok, fordi jeg var forelsket i ham uansett og var glad når vi hadde det fint.
Og nettopp dette er kjernen i saken, at også jeg, Frøydis S, er like mye kjærlighetens narr som alle andre, at selv om jeg vet, fortsetter jeg å håpe. At jeg kan finne meg i og godta alt for mye.
Det er dette som er meg. For bare noen år siden trodde jeg at jeg var uskyldig og ren, at den store kjærligheten ikke kom til å gå fra meg den gangen, at man spilte med åpne kort og at hvis man mente alt godt ville man unngå å bli skitten.

Friday, August 01, 2008


Boka jeg har lånt av Linn er slitt og lukter av støv og gamle ting, musikken til Anna Ternheim smaker av høsten 2007 da alt skulle få begynne på nytt. Det er solformørkelse ute.

Seinere var vi på Oslo Mekaniske Verksted og det var vanskelig å ikke pille på alle bøkene, men jeg kan kalle det en yrkesskade. Mot slutten av kvelden spurte jeg mannen bak disken om jeg kunne få kjøpe en av dem. Han lo omtrent som en hund og sa jeg var den første som hadde spurt, og at jeg selvfølgelig kunne få den.